Coffee House Girl

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Posts by Coffee House Girl

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  49

  How did you find the strength to leave?

  by SAHARA in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  to all of you exjws, i'm sure you've been asked this question one way or the other many times and i'm sure the answer is different for many of you, i'd like to know directly from you never having a chance to hear or read many exjw's answers to this.

  knowing that you would be cut off from your family and friends and other consequences for your decision to leave, how did you ever get the strength to do it?

  i mean really, i find it fascinating to know that there are so many of you who were at one time very devout, if not at the very least loyal to one of the most successful mind-contol organizations ever who believed all if not most of what the society taught and still you found the courage to risk everything once you accepted that it isn't what it claims to be.

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  Coffee House Girl

  It was not a quick decision, I prayed every day for three years to Jehovah to die, it was painful to wake up in the morning & still be alive, alive to face another lonly day of bullshit in the org I knew was wrong. I stayed too long, I stayed for my mom, eventually that wasn't a good enough reason anymore when I realized how unhappy she was. Nothing I did to be a good little witness made her any happier, I realized that I could not make her happy. I decided I needed to save myself before I suffered the same fate-

  I gained independence by getting my own appartment, car, paying my own way. I started talking to a man who became my friend, my friend wanted to help me once I explained my situation. He helped me to see the "world" in a different light. He helped me with an escape plan since people were starting to notice I was pulling away from the org, I told my sister I was leaving, I told my mom, & I got the hell out of there. I left the state for a week, would not tell anyone my location, and would not answer the phone. (except I would check in with my friend).

  I enrolled in University this past fall, & I am trying like the rest of you to achieve a real life- with dreams, hopes, and love (yes, my friend became my lover, and became the love of my life)

  The leaving is not fully over, elders are still calling & DFing is probably eminent- but I am so glad I had the strength to do what I thought would be impossible

  CHG
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  85

  From Pioneer to Professor: My Story

  by laverite in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i wanted to say hello.

  i knew i was gay.

  i wanted to study and learn about everything i could.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Welcome to the forum,

  I am so glad you decided to apply and share your story with us- it was moving to me because I also related to feelings of suicide in the organization, I am 2nd generation (x)JW & I was overwhelmed by thoughts of wanting out and feeling trapped, at one time I thought my only choice out was death. I am glad we both made the choice to leave instead, even though the rejection by family has been very hard. I am a first year university student, I am following a dream I also had in high school- I love it!

  Your story fills me with hope of reconciliation with one's self and future happiness by being who we truly are-

  Good luck, keep posting your thoughts

  Thank you- CHG
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  5

  Jw couples

  by XPeterX in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  it is taken for granted that many (especially young people) in the org get married to have sex only to realise later how wrong was their choice.i want to say that a great number of married jws got bored and are unhappy with their partners.am i wrong?.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I was wrong for getting married for sex and freedom from parental control, I was 19- I made the wrong choice, it ended in heartache and much pain.
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  146

  What Stupid Things Were You Counseled For?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've always been told that i have a very good personality, that i'm humorous, etc.. one elder called me over and said that i was "smiling too much".

  the other elders talked to the elder who counseled me and he came back to say that i should be like i was .

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  Coffee House Girl

  Wearing v-neck shirts, you could see my cleavage. OMG, those brothers handling the mikes got an eyefull
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  24

  Does anyone here work out?

  by XPeterX in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i do since 2007,bulking 6'220 19yo can hit 300 in a few years.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Been a runner for 4 years now, I run 5 miles each day monday thru fri, wish I had more time for strength training. When I was in the borg it was looked down on to devote time to making yourself look too pretty instead of using that hour to study WT publications (yea, I was counseled by family on this).

  Ah I love running.....breathe fresh air and work out the cult doctrines stuck in my brain!!
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  36

  How Were YOU Treated In Your Hall?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  were you a fish out of water?.

  were you popular in your congregation?.

  were you a "marked" person?.

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  Coffee House Girl

  I had an unbelieving dad too- so I was 2nd class citizen- yup, heard about all the parties and friends getting to do stuff- they'd talk about it right in front of me- nope I wasn't invited...

  married a JW MS, so that made me socially acceptable... but when he took off & I was a "marked" person (married but did not have a "scriptural" reason for divorce)- I was dog meat again... it was deja vu to the times when I was 12 or 13 & people talking about the fun "get togethers" in front of me when I was never invited..assholes!
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  22

  What will happen if you are I.D'd ?

  by wobble in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  many on here are keen to hide their identity, me included, i don't want to be df'd and many of the views i express on here would be enough for most jc's to df me sine die.. anyone reading on here who knows me a little more than vaguely could work out who i am, my list of cars i have owned for example, on another thread.. but what could they do ?.

  i know they could make a case, and then as happened to a young sister in a neighbouring congo.

  say they would investigate why the bro.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Yup, being in the organization makes us paranoid- I would be DF'd if my identity on this site became known to other JWs

  although I cannot imagine what the odds are of an active JW living in my specific location would be looking on this site thru the thousands of profiles trying to find me & stumble on a piece of info that would be traced back to me-

  I dont think my cong elders have the smarts or the time to be columbo-

  We have been brainwashed to think that Jehovah will make sure that our "dirty deeds" are caught in some supernatural "holy spirit" way and we will be "fried" for our sins-

  I remember thinking the same way when I first departed the Borg, I no longer think that Jehovah is "out to get me"

  I am still thankful for this site and the support, even if it is anonymous
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  33

  I like the people in my Kingdom Hall!

  by lavozsa in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this may sound like a funny title, but it is actually true.

  just to give a brief background on myself, i've been a jw for nearly 12 years now.

  i didn't grow up in a jw family, nor is anyone else in my immediate family a jw (except my wife and her family).

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  Coffee House Girl

  Everyone has already said what I was thinking after reading your post, welcome to you! From the voices of experience, no matter how "liberal" your JW friends seem to be, once you take the steps to celebrate birthdays & step too far out of line, your JW friends will scatter. They will feel they need to put up a wall between you and them to protect them from being labeled as "spiritually weak" or apostate.

  I had a JW friend who I used to talk all the time with about the R rated movies we saw, rock concerts we went to, and we would keep it on the DL so that elders didn't find out what we were doing... but when I faded and told him I wasn't comming back, he dropped me like a hot potato- he had no choice. It is all about survival in the borg, survive at all costs...
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  25

  Close Encounters of the JW Kind...

  by Jim_TX in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this morning (like many other mornings) i went to the local 'stop-n-shop' to get my wife a pint - of milk.

  she likes to drink a bit of milk during the day.. anyway, on my way back to the vehicle - as i got in and was reaching for the key to start it up... an elderly lady (well... probably about my age - sheesh!

  ) with grey hair, approached my car with a handfull of magazines - and said something along the lines of.... 'pardon me sir,...'.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Oh my....this thread is giving me bad flashbacks of parking lot witnessing! & Teel is so right about the pre-made "memorize this presentation from the KM", so many of them I thought were bs, I knew no one wanted to hear it when trying to get from WalMart to their cars in peace- So I just asked if they wanted one of these magazines, put it in their hand, and walked away.... what a waste of a saturday/sunday morning!
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  37

  Are any of you addicted to your new sexual revolution?

  by Coffee House Girl in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  now that i am free from my bonds to an organization dictating to me what i can and cannot do (in bed included), i cannot stop.....i feel like an addict on coke or something, i have been with my bf for eight months now, and perhaps it is a combination of the newness of a sexual relationship with the release from my spiritual bonds, but....i feel like a cat in heat 24/7.

  of course my bf is not complaining even though i see he is physically tired parts of the day that i actually leave him alone (to go to work or sleep after hours of lovemaking).

  i wonder if anyone else has gone through similar experience.

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  Coffee House Girl

  Lol- sorry to leave you hanging folks, & yes...I did come up for air, I am at work now & finally on the internet

  Yea, Coffee Shop Guy is 53 and I am 31- it is true I suppose, my youth & viggor encourages him & his experience and enthusiasm rev-s me up

  oz, I loved hearing your story and it encourages me, my coffee man is committed to keeping our relationship active, alive, and passionate. We schedule time for ourselves whenever we can! Plus I can have time to work on a strong relationship because I am not busy with "theocratic activities", bonus

  We did even go outside the bedroom on Sunday to a lakeside town to shop, eat, and enjoy the sunset-